How to refund duties and VAT paid by ParcelForce due to late ToR relief approval

I recently moved back to the UK from Japan after spending 10 years abroad. I shipped by personal belongings via surface mail not really thinking I would be charged for shipping my personal belongings. This was the end of September. I then applied for the ToR tax relief on October 17th and could finally get approval at the end of November. Some parcels have now arrived in the UK, while some of them cleared customs without imposing any duties or VAT (4 boxes), the other 9 boxes based on ParcelForce tracking are being held due to payments required for the imposed duties and VAT that they've paid on behalf of the recipient/sender (in my case, the same person, me). Should I pay ParcelForce and then ask for a refund on the HMRC imposed duties and VAT (courier brokerage fees I assume are part of the service so I cannot refund), I've seen there is a C285 form but this seems more like for either companies doing import business and take issue with tax codes used by customs or individuals importing ad hoc parcels/shopping from outside UK. My wife was also the sender of the parcels but I made the ToR tax relief claim as they are both our belongings as a British citizen I already had a government gateway login. I am praying this won't cause an issue either. As we did not have a residence to send them to in the first place. We initially put my mother's address as the recipient. The more I explain this the more likely it sounds I will have a tortuous time getting this money back. Any advice greatly appreciated.

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